9th March

I've been mentally writing this as I've been doing things today and now I'm sitting here with a totally blank mind! My hard drive got seriously damaged at the end of January and I've just spent a couple of hours going through the print out of my address book (which was the only way I could save it), emailing people with a circular note. If you're reading this and you know me and wonder why I haven't contacted you, it's that my hard drive crashed towards the end of last year too (I don't remember quite when) and though I have my old address book on disk I can't get it to open.

This was the first morning I couldn't speak to James when I woke up as he was conducting some sort of seminar (one of the reasons for him being in Singapore and also the main reason for not coming back any earlier). This will be the first night I don't stay up to say goodmorning to him as I go to bed. He's somewhere in the sky flying home now, so I'll go to bed early!

There isn't really very much to say. I'm beginning to feel very tired, and I know that after the first joy of having James home we'll still be in the same situation, waiting and worrying. We're worrying more now as it looks as though there's just been the first case of airborne infection. It's been really reassuring up to now to know that there's been a direct link in all the other cases. I'm feeling more nervous tonight. There's a fascinating (but gruesome) list on the MAFF web site that lists all the farms and all the animals killed and the source of the infection (going back to that horrible pig factory). Somehow today I've been feeling much lower - it's probably that I don't have to keep going on my own much longer.

A friend dropped off some shopping and we had a chat at the gate. It was so nice to see another face. She is not a farmer , but their business is connected with farming and is suffering. She was talking about how depressed everything felt. It was lovely yesterday when the vet stopped for a cup of tea and a chat. I hadn't realised before how many people I do normally talk to during the day, even if it's only going shopping (launceston is th esort of town where the shop keepers talk to you!). The vet was looking at our animals and saying that 20 years ago we could have made a living on a farm this size. Nowadays the farms have to be bigger to survive and too often it means that farmers don't have time to look at their animals properly. he reckoned it was one of the most important things for a farmer to do, just looking at the animals. He's a farm vet normally and says he chose that sort of work, because he likes farmers and their way of live, but 'they're dying out' (sorry if I'm miss quoting you if you ever read this!).

I'm having a problem with one of the cats. They're shut in a shed, and not enjoying it at all. When I open the door to feed them they try to get out. They don't know how to use the litter trays I've given them, so I'm putting cat litter from a 30 litre sack over the mess they make on the floor. It will be a horrid job to clean it out, and one I can't do on my own. The smallest one, Henry (she is female) keeps escaping. She is a complete Houdini. There is no way out. She was a half grown kitten when we came here, and very wild. Will had to wear leather gloves to catch her (we caught and had spayed all the female cats here when we came). Now she's nervous of strangers but quite tame with us. I was putting some post in the box at the top of the drive, when she suddenly appeared. I have blocked the 3 tiny holes that she might be squeezing out of, and tonight I blocked the last one, that is far too small for anything to get through. The morning after the first night I shut them, I found little footprints in the snow, but unfortunately the snow wasn't thick enough round the shed to see where they had started. The trouble is I don't know where Henry goes during the day (she's always around at tea-time). Is she travelling to neighbouring farms? Is she bringing back infection? Her escaping rather negates shutting up the other cats. If it's a choice between Henry and the other animals she'll have to go. Hopefully James will find where she's escaping.

I thought shutting the chickens up would mean we'd get a more regular supply of eggs (as they like to lay all over the place). It did for a couple of days, but I fear one of them must have aquired a taste for eggs as we've had none for the last few days.

Thank you every one, even total strangers, who have been sending me emails. It is really heartening to get them.

I'll phone BA now and check on James's plane and go to bed.

 

10th March

James is back. Everything seems a lot more manageable. I'll write more later.

Later: I'm sorry, everybody. I'm not going to write much now. The latest news is depressing. I was appalled when I heard this morning about last night's news and the sheep left dead in a field by a busy road. What are they doing? If the virus can spread on clothes, why not from wool? Don't those oafs in whitehall know that we have wild-life in the countryside? Did no-one think of crows and other predators eating the corpse and carrying bits away? They're talking of moving bodies in sealed containers. If it's safe to leave a body in a field, why bother with sealed containers? There are a lot of questions that need answering.

Next morning: I stopped then, and went to bed. Feeling a bit guilty about all the people who say they're checking this site every day. So, ...

I wanted to take a picture of the dogs greeting James, but my digital camers is 2 years old and not quick enough!

 

One of the first jobs was another prolapse, caught a bit sooner than the other one (those of you who aren't farmers, prolapses are not unusual in the later stages of pregnancy with ewes expecting twins or triplets. There is a difficult balance between feeding them enough and too much, and being inside with no exercise doesn't help). James's only criticism of my farming (so far!) is that I have been overfeeding them a bit. In the case of the hoggs, I'd misread the instructions he'd left and they were geting more than double the oats!

James tying string to the wool to hold the prolapse spoon in place.

I'm obviously not feeling so isolated at the moment, but I expect in a day or so it will hit home again.

One of my sister's wrote: Hope james is OK - what a horrible thing to come home to - apart from the joy of seeing you again, of course. A bit like a reverse situation of soldiers coming home on leave from the front line, I imagine - except that you are now both in it together for the duration

I had 2 emails from a friend in the early hours of Saturday morning, that I'll copy here. There are a lot of quiet moment s in the middle of the night during lambing, whilst waiting for a ewe to get on with it, or lambs to feed, and that is when these emails would have been written.

Hi Jo, had a fax from Pat who tells me that you too are hole up on your own. I too have been on my own on this farm!! My parents have been away for almost a month and are returning back next Monday.

How are you bearing up. I gather you are close to the outbreak at a farm nearby - how far way it is from you?

I have to admit it has not been easy for me here, esp when I hear the news like tonight watching those corpse of the sheep - I have to say it seems daft having them by the road. I really think that the gov ought to get the army in to help the MAFF with the pyre etc so that it can be dealt a lot quicker than leaving the animals for days. Are you getting the Western Morning News? I have the papers, post etc left at top of the drive - I don't allow anyone in - I had to transfer animal feed from the lorry into the quad's trailer the other day. There was a very sad but very direct and hit the nail on head, a poem written by a 13yr boy whose family lives in a farm next door to the Dunnabridge Farm (Two Bridges) and been told that their healthy sheep will have to be slaughtered to guard against the spread of the virus onto the open moorland. If you don't get the MWN let me know and I will send the poem over - it brought tears to my eyes this morning when I read it!!

I really do feel for those farmers who been affected, all the livestock up in smoke let along the years of breeding and the acquaintance you have with your stock etc. I don't know what will happen during those six months - are they going to be able to make hay/silage or will that have to be destroyed? what a mess.

Despite all the gloom (!) I have to say I have been blessed esp last week when I had wonderful message of love, support and prayers from people, it has been nice to know that one is not alone and that others are thinking of you. I had a letter from one Holiday maker who been visiting for several years now to say that they are thinking and praying, which is nice of them to write.

Speaking of Holiday makers, have you had to turn people away?, last time I had guests was over the half term week, the last day they left was the day when they accounced that Willie Cleave farm was confirmed to have F&M. I went out to put the straw disinfect out at top of the drive that same day! I had a fax today asking for a booking for the weekend of 24/25th March - I have to say sorry unable to do so.
Right now it has been very difficult to know what to do about the bookings i.e. how long is this going to last for etc - doubtless you know well what I mean - certainly the income will be way down this year but to be honest I am not worried just that the farm and the stock will be unaffected and I am sure you will feel the same.

How have you been getting on with lambing? Is there noone else with you? I have one friend who calls in if there's any message on the answerphone, I have to allow her to come - as being deaf, I can't use the answerphone!! I can hear the words etc but it is more like when you hear someone speaking in foreign language ie say Spanish or whatever - you can hear the words etc but you cannot understand - that what it is like for me with the answerphone. She pops in once a day unless there's no call in which I let her know thanks to the mobile phone!!

I have done the first part of lambing which went well, the next part is in April, well starting on 29th March really! The lambs are outside and are looking good. They have been lambing early - I had one ewe who decided that she could not hold on to her twins and had them at 8 days early! they are fine but you can tell out in the field that they were born premature. Funnily enough I had a shearling ewe who lost one eye and some sight in her good eye thanks to bird attack when she was a ewe lamb (very nasty it was) I think she has some sight but it is more of seeing shadows, she gets on well considering. She was tupped second, and carried on past full term - only a day overdue! Meanwhile all others but two lambed ahead of her and most lamb few days to week early (that does happen) but not the blind one!! Sadly she lost her lamb. I had triplets in another pen but they were bit too old for fostering whereas I had another triplet due to lamb and from her behaviour I was sure that she was going to lamb in the next 24 hours. So I left her dead lamb with the blind ewe which does not sounds nice I know - (it happened in the evening) but it was done to keep her feeling broody. The triplet eventually lambed about 16 hours later - guess what the first one was a breech and the legs was well tucked in, it would have made my job much easier if the breech was second or third born then I would have had more room to get the legs straight out! Anyway got all three out and gave the smaller one to the blind ewe, who fell into love straight away and start licking it so it was a nice happy ending after all! She has been very good mother and it was touching to see her caring for her baby!

Will be thinking of you and praying for you.
God bless,
Love Cathyx

Hi! I have just looked up at your website and reading about you! It was very well done and interesting - oh dear my heart dropped about your ewes (oats)
I saw that article in the WMNews about that poor farmer (with shotgun) in fact I was angry that he was left to deal with that situation - I actually let off steam by telling others!!
actually I thought WMNews have done well publishing and keeping public update of what it is happening but the nonfarming people wouldn't realised what it is actually like for the farmers caught up in this nightmare.
I had a shearling limping so I turn her over and when I saw her feet I had to check her mouth to make sure it wasn't F&M! she only had a bad foot but it is awful having to have that thought hanging over your head - there must be loads all over the country like us on weather hooks when inspecting their stock.
I have to go now, to check my ewes in the barn and give the triplets to be (I have five) their last feed of the day.
Is James back now?
Take care love Cathy

I am very happy to pass on any messages to her. Plus, she's got a lovely place for a holiday, anyone who can't get in here! When this is over, come to the West Country for a holiday. So many farms have B & B or self-catering businesses and a holiday on a farm is unlike any other.

It's not just us farmers who are on our own. One local friend who lives not far from the abattoir at South Petherwin, wrote:

 

I've been thinking of you & am glad to have news.I cried when I saw the 1st pall of smoke from Jaspers - it's all so awful! You must feel doubly isolated - without MAFF support either. I feel totally useless not being able to offer any help or support. The phones of my farming friends are always engaged & I can't visit them .... I'm laid off but can't do anything or go anywhere for fear of spreading the virus which must have reached us on the wind.

That's enough for one day. James and happy dogs.

 

 

11th March

It's been a lovely day in some ways. It's been quiet and peaceful and good to have James home. James noticed at once how very quiet it is. Those of you who have been here know that it is always pretty quiet, but now there is nothing to hear except the birds. The larks are singing and the hedges, whilst not turning green yet, are subtly changing colour as the leaf buds swell. It would be heavenly if we didn't know what was happening in the rest of the world. I do hope that reports from here will carry on being safely dull, and that every day continues in the same way, with the same routine round of farming jobs.

Some of this years calves. They're not looking their best after being in all winter.

I started the day calmly and then made the mistake of checking on the news. 'Everything is under control' says Nick Brown. What appalling arrogant complacency. I have just seen him again on our local news, seconds after seeing the farmer at the farm in Organic conversion that has just been hit, talking about the shambles of the operation to slaughter his cattle. I feel like spitting with rage. Not enough shots for the number to kill, not enough barbiturates for the youngest stock, people not knowing what they are meant to do. Nick Brown was challenged to come down to the west country to see for himself. One of his excuses was that he had to be in London to 'explain what is happening'. He rejects any suggestion that it is incompetent to leave dead bodies in fields and says that that is being dealt with by transporting the bodies to a rendering plant.

The NFU fax, I quote:

'MAFF in Devon have the use of 10 lorries, each capable of carrying a 20 tonne load (roughly 40 cattle). But each round trip to the rendering plant at Widnes takes at least 24 hours, including disinfection etc, and the drivers' hours regulations are imposing a further limitation. The net result is that one farmer in the Hatherleigh area who had been expecting the carcases of his 450 cattle to be taken for rendering has now been told that they will, after all, be burnt. Some of animals have been dead for 3 days already, but preparations for incineration have barely started.'

And then you see Nick Brown talking about transporting bodies. I am sure the plan to move bodies in this way (and it does probably make sense for farms like ours with only comparitively few animals), is because it is not good politically, with an election so close, to have great pyres burning so visibly all over the country.

Now that foot-and-mouth has spread to Kent it is even more deeply depressing. All those people who were just feeling worried before must now be feeling terrified.

James and I are both very aware that we are in a far far better position than most other farmers round here. We have an alternative source of income. OK, James hates going away. It's something he had never intended to go back to. But we don't have to lie awake at night doing impossible sums that don't add up. Stock can't be moved off farms. If farmers are living in an area where stock can be moved to an abattoir they will find that the abattoir will only take large numbers. A farmer with half a dozen bullocks ready to go might as well forget about it. Tenant farmers are getting their rent demands. They can't sell anything and yet they have to buy in more feed for their stock. If they do get foot-and-mouth they are compensated for the stock but they can't farm their land for 6 months. They can't make silage to feed any replacement stock over the winter. It's a nightmare.

Read the notes on welfare of animals during the crisis on the MAFF site. They are a joke. They insist that the same wellfare standards still apply that the farmer must stick to. Every farmer is desperate for the welfare of his stock of course. They list the minimum space requirements that each animal needs. Every stockman knows that already. They suggest that the farmer put up temporary buildings, inform his staff of new routines and if stock are off farm and need tending to employ another stockman. Are they living in a dream world? What is the farmer who is on his own, already overstretched, overdraft mounting, rent or mortgage payments due, when he could sell stock, selling it at prices below what they were in the 70's (in real terms), meant to make of them. Often he is not only not employing any staff but also working off the farm at another job to make ends meet.

I am living in a state of swinging from calm, peacefulness and thankfulness for what we have, both here on the farm, and in our family and friends and the love and concern we are receiving from so many people, to absolute fury and frustration at what's happening. I think MAFF is just overstretched and a staff of office workers has not been trained for this sort of crisis. They should have been , and thye should be getting leadership from the minister which they're not getting and they should be getting help. The army is trained to deal with crisis. It never looks good politically to call the army in, it means admitting there is a real crisis. But it will be much worse politicaly to call them in too late.

I've just been outside. There is a beautiful full moon and I have never heard it so quiet here. Nothing is moveing except for the odd little rustle from the shed in the yarde.

I'll finish today with a quote sent by another farmer. (It's also on my emails from farmers page). Thanks for sending this, Jim.

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Saviour.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

Hab. 3 17- 19

12th March

The daffodils are looking lovely. The house is a complete tip. I haven't touched the hoover for longer than I care to admit in public, but there's always a jug of daffodils on the kitchen table.

I've spent another day writing this in my head, and now I can't think what I was going to say. I've spent a lot of the day feeling angry and frustrated. It's a mistake to watch the news!

We bought the green oak timbers, that we used when we renewed our rag slate roof, from a farmer on Dartmoor. His farm is very remote, looking as though it would always be miles away from any trouble. I heard on Friday that his herd of 260 Galloway catle were to be destroyed as a precaution. His wife is quoted in the WMN '...my husband will lose his catle that have bloodlines going back 140 years to cows that were his grandmother's dowry when she came to the farm. He cannot replace them, however much they pay us.' and 'we accept the need for a cull. There is no way we want foot and mouth to spread to the commons and the rest of the moor'. But their sacrifice might be a complete waste. Other neighbouring farms are apparently not considered at risk by Ministry officials. And (to quote from the WMN again) 'the effect of the agonising wait for clear, official information and guidelines, wodering why such an apparently arbitry decision has included one farm rather than the next that is turning these strong moorland men and their families into emotional wrecks'.

One farmer on the local news today was saying his healthy animals were all going to be killed and yet there were still sheep roaming across the road by the the farm which had the outbreak.

The day here has been quiet and busy and blessedly dull. We sorted out all the ewes, dosed them with a cobalt and selenium drench (we have a mineral deficiency in our soil), and put 14 of them that were in too good condition, in a seperate pen where they'll eat less. There were 16 that were in poor condition so those are penned up together too and will get more feed. Some of them are beginning to udder up. The first lambs are due in just under 2 weeks so we'll get the first ones in a week I expect.

Henry. She purrs quite happily when I pick her up and incarcerate her again.

Houdini Henry was out again this morning. I'd worry more if it was MaMow or Tigger , as I've seen those 2 a long way from home, but I've never seen Henry anywhere except near the house and never near the animals. Still, we'd rather be sure we were safe with her. James had blocked up every little hole really securely and then Scratch got out too. Another search of the shed (it's an old stone building that we keep hand tools in) and I found a very small hole above the door that leads into the roof space and hence out of a tiny hole on th eoutside. I wouldn't have thought it was big enough. I've blocked it now, so we'll see in the morning. I hope this is the end of the Henry saga.

James is still jet lagged so got up a lot earlier than me. He was doing some sums whilst he had breakfast, sums that MAFF must have done too, surely. Nick Brown was saying that there was no cause for alarm, as though we had had 25 new cases in one day, at the height of the 1967 outbreak there were as many as 80 in a day. What he didn't say was that the average size of an infected farm in 1967 was 185 animals, whilst up to yesterday morning the average for the current outbreak was more like 850 and that already we had killed a quarter of the animals that took 8 months to destroy in 1967. This evening of course it is worse.

There was a very good page one leader in our excelent local paper today (th Western Morning News which always has good coverage of farming. It should be compulsory reading at MAFF). It is too long to type here, unfortunately. Basically it is saying every thing I want to say. It doesn't seem to be published on line. I'll quote a little:

'Anthony Gibson (our local NFU chap) ..declared, 'This is nothing to do with politics. This is people going through hell on earth'.

Nowhere .. do we see any evidence whatsoever of the sort of leadership required to lead us through this hell. All we get are sympathetic noises and attempts to ensure that everybody knows that none of it is their fault. Farmers do not want, and certainly do not need, the pre-election crocodile tears of insincere New Labour politicians. They know from bitter experience just how far down this Government's list of priorities they come.

What they want, and certainly do need as a matter of extreme urgency, is much faster, more efficient and more effective measures for dealing with this disease than MAFF has to date shown itself capable of. And what country communities in general want and need is recognition of the damage being inflicted on the wider rural economy, which ws already in a parlous state before the vicious spin-off effects of foot and mouth began to bite. Then they need swift action to address and minimise the damage....'

Does the rest of the country realise what chaos it is here? The Irish Government are quite right to criticise us. Our inefficiency is putting them in danger too. One reason for bodies being left to rot on farms, picked at by rats (which can carry the disease) and by crows and buzzards (haven't any of the officials seen a buzzard carrying carrion away? I've seen one seize a rabbit that had just been shot ), is apparently that MAFF are following 'correct' procedure and putting the aquisition of railway sleepers for creating fires, out to tender. And that takes time. It's hard to believe sometimes that all this is true.

 

13th March

All 5 cats were in the shed this morning. It's amazing how pleased one can be over such a small thing!

Later: I was pleased a little too soon as there was a mass break out a couple of hours later! All but Tigger had pushed their way out by moving a solid plank that was wedged against a window with a broken pane. I spent most of the afternoon clearing another shed (a concrete 'bunker' that used to hold the previous farmer's bulk tank), of all our son Will's stuff. He'd moved out of the house into his doss house, last summer. It was rather sad, having him away from home and dismantling all his decorative efforts (sorry Will! if you're reading this, but it had got rather damp over the winter). The cats are now ensconced in there. Scratch and Henry really hate it. They were used to the shed, which is full of nooks and crannies, and where they were fed in wet weather anyway. The new place feels more like being shut in.

Cats and chickens in happier days!

Another quiet day. James showered and washed his hair and put on clean clothes and went to get some farming supplies and went to see his mother up the road. Being under a form D we have to change clothes and wash all over when we leave the farm. I haven't left the farm for more than a week. When I wash and shower in the evening I'm too tired to go out and there's no time during the day. James had to get on with paper work that he needs to get out of the way before lambing.

I've just been on a local radio Cornwall phone-in. it was a bit nervewracking. I've just phoned the friend who told me about it and she didn't hear me! if any of you did hear me I'd love to have some feed back other than James (who is just a little prejudiced in my favour!). I was saying, among other things, that we are lucky (I hope, we're still not out of the quarantine time) that the outbreak here was dealt with so responsibly. The animals at Jasper's were being properly monitored, they killed them quickly and burnt them quickly (using their own men) and whilst waiting for them to burn they were on 24 hour 'fox watch' against all predators. My main worry now is it spreading from the East thanks to MAFF's incompetence. Why don't they bring the army in?

On the local TV they showed a field of sheep that hadn't been fed for 5 days. There was no grass, and the farmer and his wife were not being allowed out of their farm house to feed them. Why isn't the RSPCA getting on to MAFF? If MAFF hasn't the manpower to feed the sheep, get the army. The army is normally doing exercises on Dartmoor. They are having to cancel those, and go abroad for training. What better training could they have, than helping in this emergency? To me, the main reason for having armed forces is to have a well trained body of men ready to help out in troubled times, either here or around the world.

Nick Brown is talking about slaughtering half a million sheep. Why? Does he think it sounds as thought the Government is doing something, taking decisive action? Even if you look at it in purely monetary terms (and I don't), it would cost a lot less than compensating the farmer for the loss of his ewes and paying for materials and man power to burn them, if they called in the army to put up temporary shelters (and they need only be straw bales, nothing elaborate), feed the sheep and provide some basic husbandry. It doesn't take much training to learn the basic essentials, like making sure the lamb's airway is clear of mucus, and it's navel is iodined. A lot of sheep have to manage on their own as it is.

Are people as unconnected with farming as I used to be, as angry with this mismanagement as I am? Does the rest of the country actually care? I was shocked a couple of days ago, to see that not only was horse racing going ahead all over the country, but the queen mother was enjoying a day out at the races. The TV cameras showed a pathetic dribble of disinfectant being put on the outer edge of the wheels of her buggy. What signal is that sending out to the general public?

It's not just for farmers that this outbreak of foot and mouth needs to be brought under control (and no, Minister, it is NOT under control now). Countless businesses in the countryside are suffering and they have very little hope of any compensation. The economy of the country as a whole will very soon be feeling the effects. Agriculture as such might bring in a very small proportion of the GNP but its influence is much greater than Whitehall has taken into account.

I had an email from an American friend in New York today:

.................My mother-in-law said the British ambassador who was
speaking on a local Chicago TV station was saying the situation was nothing
to speak of... she said it was very odd... he heads next to Texas,... sounds
like an odd political agenda to both of us... he's going to all of our major
cattle producing areas, saying nothing is going on ! Hello, something smells
funny here. Why are they worried about us being alarmed... how easily can it
travel here? Actually the minute you mention birds ... then things travel
all over the darn place ... we have had that scary West Nile virus that
mosquitos carry, but they bite birds who then carry it different places,
etc... then there is Lyme disease... when you come right down to it we have a
very tiny planet...the sooner people realize how inter-connected everything
is the better... also how easily e- bola, West Nile or any dread disease can
travel thanks to air travel & other swift transport...............

'odd political agenda' could be said about activities here too. Presumably he is acting on Government instructions. Why?

A London friend phoned last night, saying why not let the disease run its course, after all it wasn't a fatal disease. True, animals can recover, but 90% mortality in lambs is not just a financial loss but an emotional trauma. If you don't know about lambing, look at my diary pages from this time 2 years ago, at www.eastpenrest.freeserve.co.uk/diary9.htm and there are lots of pages on lambing, I hope conveying something of the love and care that goes into it. As to pigs, their trotters can fall off. There are some gruesome pictures of the pigs that were in the original outbreak up North on the MAFF web site. How could that so-called farmer not have noticed his animals were ill and suffering? I should imagine he either didn't bother to look at them (automatic feeders might be 'efficient' but they allow for horrible neglect) or he looked and didn't care, as he only had the animals there to fatten up for slaughter.

a cow's tongue (photo taken by Matt, from Korea, when he was here, wwoofing, a year ago

In cows it sounds too dreadful to even think about. If you've looked at cows at all closely you will see how important their tongues are. They are long, like sandpaper on one side, and used to pull grass, hay or silage, to groom themselves and each other , to lick their nostrils. Can you imagine losing the skin off your tongue and not being able to eat without it? I quote from the Times here, from a farmer in Shebbear in Devon:

'Anyone who thinks animals should just be left for the disease to take its course has obviously never seen it in real life. It was very distressing to watch them trying to hobble to the trough, their mouths all blistered up, and being unable to eat when they got there. Killing was a kindness really'..... and he was talking about animals descended from those bred by his grandfather.

Every day that passes without us catching it, I become more hopeful. Then the news comes on and there are more cases and it is getting closer from the East.

Cathy has just sent me this. Thank you Cathy.

Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand. Isa 41v10

 

14th March

I've been feeling quite calm and quiet this morning. James has stayed away from the animals so he could finish this wretched paper work and run a few errands. All the animls have been quiet and calm as well, including the cats, which seem to be resigned to their new home.

James and Blackie (otherwise known as Rusty or Nipper)

There was a great bleating going on in our neighbour's field next door, and he was rounding up his recently lambed ewes, with a man in a disposable boiler suit. I hadn't realised quite how tense and anxious I am under the surface layer. My heart did its sinking, diving to the bottom of my stomach bit and I felt sick and shaky as I rang my neighbours wife. Her voice was immediately reassuring, and 'its just a routine check, Jo'. I still feel rather shaky though. I felt absolutely certain for a minute or so that the disease had arrived.

A friend sent a hopeful email this afternoon:

from an article in today's University Newsletter by Professor Phillip Duffus, one of our
Veterinary Professors:

"Ministry vets have been able to pinpoint all the farms and abattoirs
associated with movement of potentially infected livestock (especially
sheep) from the likely original outbreak in Tyne and Wear. Of the 163
confirmed cases (as of 11 March) almost all have been expected, ie
associated with movement of infected animals as well as some very local
windblown or human spread. If this pattern persists then the disease
will have reached its peak by the end of this week and then gradually
peter out"

I have been starting to feel more hopeful, and even wodering what I was getting so over-anxious about. At least, I did feel that briefly!

Gussie & Gertie in the snow just after Christmas. The pig hiding shyly behind them is Pomeroy, the Saddleback boar. We are looking forward to our first piglets next month.

I've just been listening to the news. They're talking about killing pigs in infected areas. They're also talking about the possibility of killing all stock in an infected area and for a certain radius outside it. It doesn't make sense. It's the sort of thing someone might dream up on paper as a mental exercise, but it does not take reality into account. If they want to take drastic action, why not take it much earlier? There was a letter in the Times today, from a Mr Peter Jenkins, (it's been interesting reading the National paers on-line) saying that in the 1967 outbreak, his farm was diagnosed in the morning, the animals were destroyed that evening and the troops moved in the next morning to clear up. Surely the first step is to stop the spread of infection from the affected farms, and that includes prompt slaughter and prompt disposal (with no chance of predators spreading the infection). Sorry! I think I've said that already.

Anyway, I suppose what it comes down to is that it feels awful. I've known that if our immediate neighbour catches it we'll probably lose our stock, but I never dreamed that there was a possibility of losing our animals just because they are within a circle drawn on the map. Hopefully it is one of those mad ideas that won't be acted on. It doesn't bear thinking of.

When is this thing going to be over?

 

15th March

I've just come in from checking the stock and taking the dogs for a last run. I love going into the shed at night, most of the ewes and cows are lying down, chewing the cud. A little later, the cows will make extraordinary groaning noises in their sleep. It's very peaceful. The dogs were invisible across the field except for their eyes shining in the torchlight. It's a very overcast night and very still. I could hear cows mooing on a farm over the valley.

I keep on thinking about the farmer I read about yesterday. His herd of dairy cows, a herd started by his grandfather 80 years ago had all been destroyed. He said 'I could go into the milking sheds with my eyes closed and feel a cow's udder and tell which one it was'. I used to think, before we started farming, that a cow was a cow, and certainly an udder is an udder. But each cow is an individual. We don't milk our cows, but I could still tell most of them by their udders. Big A, for example, has the largest teats.

Big A and her calf last June.

Here's James's contribution for today:

I've been back nearly a week now, and it's been one of the strangest weeks of my life. Here are some impressions:

· the almost complete silence outside - not that this is a noisy part of the world any way - but there are virtually no cars on the road, no tractors in the fields and almost no livestock out either - the birds reign supreme - heard the first lark of the year a couple of days ago which was reassuring.

· being keyed up the whole time, fearing the worst and hoping for the best - anxiously watching livestock and wondering if we're going to get as far as lambing.

· voraciously devouring news (on the TV, radio, newspaper, and via excellent and informative daily faxes from the NFU, not to mention the local grapevine) - I haven't watched so much TV for a very long time, even breakfast TV, God forbid.

· wonderful supportive messages and phone calls from friends, neighbours and many of our wonderful visitors who have stayed in the barn (friends too really!) - these are a huge boost and comfort in a way that is impossible to describe

· not caring about the weather (which for anyone who has heard me cussing the rain over this wet, wet winter will seem strange) - the only relevant thing is the wind direction - if we still have our animals come the summer, what does a bit more or less rain / sunshine etc. matter?

· a rather different daily routine with every single animal under cover, needing forage brought to it and fresh bedding put down - not going round the fields at all, so having no idea what the farm is looking like - I imagine the wild daffodils are out down at the bottom of the wood, and primroses too, but I daren't go and look (there are deer running up and down the valley in the woods, and they can catch and carry foot-and-mouth).

· knowing that our anxieties are as nothing compared to those who have already been hit and, worst of all, those in Cumbria and elsewhere who know that their animals are now going to be slaughtered come what may - how those farmers are going to be able to continue with lambing for the next few days in the knowledge that it is all pointless I do not know…..

James 10 weeks ago, taking hay and corn to some sheep. You might have noticed that I've started putting in pictures of what the farm is like in happier times.

I have been very humbled today by several phone calls I've had with farmers and farmers' wives. The strength of their faith and trust in God, that no matter what happens, He will help them to bear it has helped me enormously. My faith sometimes falters, and there are times when I just forget about God. But he's always there when I turn to him.

I'm putting this up now but I've more to say for today. I need a break though!

Later:

I shouldn't have stopped and watched the news. It is deeply depressing. There must be so many farmers in Cumbria in the depths of despair. The thought of them lambing their ewes knowing for certain that they'll all be dead before the last lamb is born makes me weep. There must be another way.

It is very sobering to think that so many people are suffering in so many ways just because one man couldn't be bothered to boil up his pig swill. True, the system that made it possible for him to do so much damage through his stupidity or greed or carelessness, is also at fault. But how much are we responsible for allowing that system to be in place? To let school children be fed on rubbish (it was the swill from schools and airports that he was feeding his pigs on) just because it's cheaper.

One thing that has helped to keep me going is a talk that Peter Bloye gave at a Harvest Thanksgiving in the Town Hall in Launceston . I can't repeat it all here, but basically he was talking about his sheepdog and comparing our relationship with God to that of the sheepdog to him. I don't know if I can get it across in just a few words (and I'm tired and need to go to bed!). Let me know if this doesn't make sense. When I put the dogs back in the shed after their run and Jess (who is a good working dog) looks at me as if she could cry, and yet at the same time so trustingly, I am reminded of Peter's talk, and think ' Jess doesn't understand, but she trusts me and loves me in spite of feeling it's cruel and unfair. I really feel sad for her, it's not what I would choose and yet I know that it's for the best...... We're in a dreadful situation here, and we must trust God in the same way.'

At the same time I feel so angry and sad for everyone who is suffering so much.

 

16th March

I check my emails first thing in the morning and it is lovely to find so many messages. Thank you! Debby sent me this last night, saying "... and so
sing your eloquent diary pages for all to learn from.."

Just as a bird that flies about
And beats itself against the cage ,
Finding at last no passage out,
It sits and sings, and so overcomes its rage.
- Abraham Cowley(1618-1667)

The rage is certainly very appropriate. James and I are feeling incredibly angry and very frustrated. Seeing lives wrecked is bad enough, but knowing that those who ought to be 'in control' are being so incompetent...

I forgot to say, for those of you who know Will, I had a lovely long phone call to him yesterday. He is wwoofing near Broken Hill and learning a lot and enjoying himself. It was very cheering to hear him being so happy and confident.

There is always a flock of little yellow birds sitting in the hedge outside the top shed. They swoop in and pick up the spilt grain. They've become a lot braver now that the cats are no longer around (cats are cross but OK!). I've noticed wrens near the house where they haven't been before too. I hope there isn't a massacre when the cats are let out.

I didn't sleep very well last night. I was thinking about all those farmers in Cumbria and feeling sick and angry for them. Listening to the radio this morning, there are the same complaints there as there are here, infected animals waiting days to be slaughtered, slaughtered animals waiting days to be disposed of and left to stink and fester in the fields, feasted on by vermin.

I have just come off the telephone to a farmer in Cumbria. She says, among other thing, that ‘this Government just wants to get rid of us. If they had the chance they would happily line us farmers up and shoot us’. She wasn’t joking.

She says they aren't dealing with the infected animals yet. They've been regularly hearing about infected cases 3 days before they're announced and then there is often a further delay before they're killed. Madness. She told me about a young couple, tenant farmers, with 900 sheep that they have just started to lamb. If Mr Brown gets his way, they will be left with compensation for the market value of their sheep (which does not take into account the fact that their lambs will be worth something - though pathetically little compared to the price of lamb in the supermarkets - when they sell them in the autumn) and no means of keeping themselves or their animals if they did restock, until they have lambs to sell again in 18 months time.

If I had spoken to her yesterday afternoon I would have found her suicidal, as she believed that all their healthy cattle were about to be slaughtered. Mr Brown in his speech to Parliament had said 'it will be necessary to destroy animals within the 3km zones on a precautionary basis'. He has since apologised for not making things clear; but it is unforgivable that a man in his position should have not known that he was giving the impression that cattle, as well as sheep and pigs would be culled.

The sheep farmers in Cumbria will resist any cull of healthy animals. If I wouldn't risk taking infection either to or from this farm, I would go up and support them. Where are the animal rights protesters?

Tonight on local TV we heard of a couple whose animals were diagnosed 11 days ago and still hadn't been killed. Someone came today but had to go away as he had the wrong bolt in his gun! Either culling is necessary to stop the spread of this disease and it should be done promptly or .......

I have just written a letter. When I've finished this I'll try and find the relevant email addresses for Mr Blair and Mr Brown.

Here is the letter:

What does Mr Brown think he's doing?

Has he told the epidemiologists whose advice he is taking that, when they are calculating the mechanisms by which this disease is spreading, they must take into account the fact that infected animals are often waiting days to be slaughtered ?

On 28th February, on BBC Online, the former President of the British Veterinary Association, GP Francis Anthony was asked, "The longer animals are kept out in the open isn't there more risk of the disease spreading because they are in the open air?"
He replied:
"It very much depends on the concentration - two or three animals in a field - if they develop foot-and-mouth and it is a very windy day - the amount of virus excreted is quite high but of course that is dissipated. One hundred cows outside …… . . . yes, there is a very good chance that that disease would be spread." And cows have waited days to be slaughtered. How much virus was excreted by the 130 cows at one of Willie Cleave's farms that waited six days to be slaughtered and that were dying of the disease they had it so badly?

Has Mr Brown told these epidemiologists that bodies have been left in fields for five days or more? The MAFF Fact Sheet no 1 on foot and mouth disease, says that "..rats are also susceptible". Fact Sheet no 2 says "make every effort to destroy rats and other vermin . They may spread the disease." Are MAFF so far removed from the realities of life, that they do not know that rats eat carcasses? If rats are susceptible to the disease, (and MAFF would surely not dispute the accuracy of their Fact Sheets) and if other vermin (foxes, crows, etc) have also been dragging away infected meat from the carcasses, it does not take an epidemiologist to see that this is yet another way for the disease to have spread (and still to be spreading).

It seems extraordinary that Mr Brown can stand up in parliament, as he did yesterday (March 15th) and say: "From the outset the Government has put firm disease control measures rapidly in place…" when the most elementary precautions have not been taken, precautions, it is true, that would almost certainly have meant making use of the manpower and other resources of the Armed Services. One wonders what possible political agenda there could be in not calling on the assistance of the Army.

Yours faithfully

Here is a totally irrelevant picture of Polly (my favourite cow) and the dogs. (I need to hang on to what the farm is really like)

Earlier this evening on the news, Andrew Spence from Farmers for Action was asking why the army wasn't being brought in to help. An MP, David Drew was saying there were three choices, to be proactive, to vaccinate, or to let the disease run its course. He seemed to be saying that being proactive meant to kill healthy animals. He did not answer the question about the army, or about slaughtering infected animals quickly, or about disposing of bodies promptly. I telephoned Andrew later. He said he had been meant to speak one to one with Ben Gill, the so-called farmers' leader, president of the NFU. When Mr Gill, who is giving the Government unqualified support against the wishes of most of the livestock farmers concerned, heard that he would be arguing with Andrew Spence he refused to be present.

Andrew Spence is going to stand against Tony Blair at the next election. Good luck to him!

It's getting late. I stopped to watch Mr Brown on a programme on TV. He really doesn't know what he's doing. He gave the impression that he doesn't know there is any delay in slaughtering infected animals. He said that the delay in disposing of bodies was a welfare issue for the farmers who had to live with the bodies but not a danger for spreading the disease. Who is giving the advice that he keeps saying he is following? Why not just try some basic common sense.

One telling moment on the programme was when a farmer complained that the licences for moving animals short distances were too complicated and unwieldy and cited his own arguments with civil servants this afternoon. Mr Brown offered to deal with his particular request personally. The farmer, very rightly, rejected the offer. It was extraordinary that Mr Brown should have thought it acceptable to short cut the bureaucracy that he himself has declared essential.

Someone from the National Sheep Association (I think) told him that there were flocks up there that had been bred over hundreds of years, and their loss would be an irreplaceable loss to the national flock. Mr Brown thought he was just referring to pedigree and rare breed animals and spoke of protecting them. Valuable animals don't have to be rare breed or pedigree. If he can make exceptions it throws the whole policy into disrepute (not that it isn't there already).

Good news - the cull has been delayed until the Chief Vet can 'explain' it to the farmers. Not that he's going to be able to have a meeting with all the farmers so I'm not sure why he's going up North. Maybe it will work the other way and they will be able to 'explain' to him.

I haven't said much about what's happening down here. Here is an email from Niel.

Pomeroy pigs.

Hi, low isn't the word for how we're feeling. Yes we are over run with pigs. We are thinking about killing piglets as we have another 4 sows about to farrow and we haven't got room to move the last 4 sows to yet, as the finishers, now weighing well over 105 kg, need more space. If we don't give it they take it by destruction. We normally kill at 80 kgs, we now have 30 finishers getting very fat with a further 8+ stores finishing per week behind them. Lambing ok, though we lost all of a treble as she had no milk and decided to become ill, otherwise we try to keep smiling, and pour feed in to the pigs sheep and cattle let alone the poultry.
I heard the news last night, about the possibly 2 mile slaughter zone, you must be really worried. You panic, making sure you don't get it and then they might kill them anyway. I'm so sorry for you if it comes to that.

It's after 1.00 am and I meant to be in bed by 10.00! I must try and write during the day. I think I'd probably write more cheerfully then!

 

17th March

I have been telephoning or emailing any farmers I know (and some I don't). I know from myself that we feel very isolated from the world just now. It is wonderful to get all your emails. If you haven't emailed me before, please do just send one sentence. If you know a farmer, even if you don't know him well, telephone, write or email. It doesn't need to be more than a brief word. Write to a farmer that you've read about in the paper. You don't know what a difference it will make.

It's lovely and peaceful feeding the animals. It's a good time for thinking. Mostly the thoughts are peaceful. There's something very soothing about cows munching silage. The Fatty-Fats, as I call the pen of ewes who condition scored 3+ to 31/2, are less soothing. I have to be careful not to be knocked over by them when they barge out into the central pen to feed. When they're all fed and strawed down and chewing the cud it's difficult to feel agitated. I was thinking back to the summer when I was putting silage in the racks. When I was cutting the grass I was marvelling at how well God had provided that we could feed our stock in the winter. Now I was wondering if we would be cutting this summer (if you have FMD you can't even harvest the grass for 6 months).

Silage bale in Broom Park, looking over the house towards Dartmoor, James's mother's bungalow a field away.

I have just been talking to the farmer who bales our big bales for us. He's worried because MAFF gave a licence to the farmer next door to our local confirmed case to move slurry off his farm. It is being taken in a muck-spreader about 3/4 of a mile, through a village where even the villagers have been disinfecting their boots, slurry streaming out of it at every corner. Mr Brown is talking about slaughtering animals within 2 miles of an infected farm; but the farm next door to infection is allowed to drop slurry in the road where villagers drive to and fro and here and there. Two farmers have separately asked MAFF for an explanation and have been told that 'the police have been and inspected and the road is not exceptionally dirty'. This is not a case of normal farm pollution. This is Foot and Mouth Disease. Why is any one bothering to take any precautions? It is obviously a waste of time.

The latest serious infection is from yet another dealer. The MAFF web site does not get updated at weekends. Farmers work a seven day week but the bureaucrats who 'regulate' them are not available for two of those days. This information comes from our local NFU. The dealer has cattle with confirmed disease near Longtown market and he has several holdings in the South West. Surely any dealers with connections to Longtown should have been investigated weeks ago? I have just heard that one of his farm workers is living in a caravan near where this slurry is being spilt on the road, at Rezare. He will be a dangerous contact. Has he infected the farm on which he is living?

All this makes Mr Brown's slaughter 'policy' seem even more pointless. There was a young farmer from Cumbria on the 7 o'clok news tonight. He spoke with great passion. His neighbour was diagnosed with FMD on Saturday. The animals weren't killed until Wednesday and they are still lying in the fields, not to be disposed of til Monday at the earliest. He had still, tonight, not had any notification from MAFF that he was now under form D. It makes a complete mockery of all the safe guards farms under form D are meant to put in place. He said, quite rightly, that this 'fire-break' was not going to work as by the time it was put into operation the disease would already have spread. There should be no more than 24 hours he said between confirmed diagnosis and disposal of the bodies.

Farmer Leyland Bramfield, a tenant of Prince Charles on Dartmoor was told almost 2 weeks ago that his healthy stock would be killed as a precaution. His animals have only just been killed. To quote from the WMN again:

'..the ordeal has been worsened by delays in the slaughter and preparation for incineration of the carcasses. Mrs Brayfield said: " The people on the ground are doing the best they can, but they've just announced that they probably won't be able to start the fire until next Wednesday because the Ministry has not supplied what they need. This is the one intolerable thing which we were desperate to avoid - dead stock lying around rotting for days...." '. If there was no danger of these animls being infected then they shouldn't have been killed. If there was a danger, then why weren't they killed sooner and the bodies disposed of?

Time and again we hear Government representatives saying that bodies are no longer infectious when they're dead. What can be deader than a piece of corned beef? It was corned beef that started the 1967 epidemic. This outbreak is said to have started with under-cooked swill. Were the pigs being fed on live meat? It is too serious to joke about it, though.

There was an interesting comment in Paul Stanbridge' s diary of March 11th (Paul is an arable farmer just 25 miles North of London who has been keeping a very interesting diary for some years). He said;

'....a small report in one of the farming papers caught my eye. Apparently there is a land fill site very near to the original infected farm and this takes food waste from an army camp. The army admits that they source meat from the cheapest (most economic) source and have used carcasses from areas of the world where FMD is endemic. No wonder the government is taking its time over isolating the cause of so much disruption and anxiety....'

I have left writing this too late again. There are a number of emails to put up. I have been very distracted by phone calls and by looking for sites on the internet and sending letters and faxes. Sorry everybody. I need another 2 hours on this at least! I've had so many interesting things to share. Look at the National Pig Association site and read the article The sacrificial slaughter of an industry on the altar of cheap food . It ought to be compulsory reading for all politicians.

Bringing in the hay that we're now using. you can see that Megan was a lot smaller!

Goodnight.

This has just arived from Cathy: "And the Lord, he is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear, nor be dismayed." (Det 31v 8) Thanks Cathy.

 

18th March

"Our thoughts and prayers are with you and all of the others who are so saddened by the tragedy that is going on in your country."

A message from a dairy farmer in New York State. It is amazing to be receiving so much love and concern from strangers around the world. I wish I could pass all the messages on to everyone. I have started pasting messages on another page.

The day always starts so peacefully. It's a time, feeding the animals, for thinking positively and just letting my mind relax. --- ---I wrote that sentence this morning and then I got interrupted and I can't think now what I was going to say! I'm trying to shut out the days events and think back to strawing up the ewes. Oh yes. Looking at them, and seeing one was lame and James treating it (a bit of scald and we use a peppermint spray, I forget what it's called, but it's brilliant on human cuts too), I was thinking what all these smug men in suits are saying about FMD.

"It's difficult to spot in sheep......This time of year a lot of sheep are lame." "If you're living in an infected area check your stock twice a day". In Devon, inside the 3 km zone, "vets or specially trained personnel will check the sheep every other day"......

It seems to me that it might well be difficult for a dealer who's bought a load of sheep from goodness knows where to spot. It might well be difficult to spot in flocks which already have a welfare problem. But someone who lives close to his sheep, a good shepherd, will notice immediately if there is something wrong. If MAFF expect a vet to be able to spot it, why not trust a stockman who knows the sheep? Vets sometimes know nothing about sheep. One of the smaller abattoirs near here had to pay to have a Spanish vet inspect them. The vet thought some ram lambs were ewes!

The instruction to check your stock twice a day says it all. We are telephoned every day by a very nice girl from MAFF. At 11.30 am she'll ask 'have you had a chance to check your stock today?' What do they think normal practise is on a livestock farm? Winter and summer we check our stock twice a day. In summer it means a pleasant walk round the farm, in winter it can mean a wet and cold trip on the quad to the bottom of the farm to check on such stock as are out. If there's ever a problem we check more often, particularly when calving or lambing when we practically live with the animals. One insomniac farmer near here always checks his dairy cows at 1.30 am before he goes to bed.

I was talking about this to a farming friend, and she said: 'oh yes, we're always watching them'. The Ministry vet who came round over a week ago (sorry if I've told you this before) said that in his opinion, the most important part of being a stockman was watching the animals. Checking animals is hardly arduous. Cows especially are very therapeutic. You can't feel too wound up when cows are gently chewing the cud. Looking at the hoggs this morning I was laughing as one large one thought he was a little lamb again and jumped across the pen with that peculiar jump as if his feet were on springs.

Polly and James

Unfortunately, both the public and MAFF confuse people who simply own animals and deal in them, with farmers. And then so many comments in the papers and radio etc. seem to think you have organic farmers like us on one side and all other famers on the other as chemical polluting intensive monsters. It's just not true. Cornwall is full of traditional, mixed, family farms and I would rather eat produce from their farms than imported organic stuff.

There was a horrible anti-farming article in the Guardian today (you can read it on-line). Talk about putting the boot in. "The BBC's lingering pictures of tearful farmers' wives seem to have evoked something other than unqualified sympathy. At last people are beginning to ask why we have to put up with all this........... All these were brought to us by an industry which pollutes our water, abuses its animals and engages in the wholesale destruction of our landscape, wildlife and archeological heritage. An industry whose practitioners expect us to pay for all this through limitless subsidy and inflated food prices, and then object to a right to roam". It is cleverly written and very cruel. Sorry to have brought it to your attention. I was just thinking it was lucky that most farmers haven't time to read such things and.. ...I thought of deleting it, but it might as well stay. I'll try and reply to it tomorrow.

The saga of the slurry continues. The farmer concerned telephoned James and assured him that on each of the trips out with the tractor (and it was going all day) the tractor was disinfected. Also that all slurry was cleaned up and the road disinfected. Unfortunately what he said did not fit the facts. I'll let you know what happens.

It might be immaterial anyway. A flock of sheep at Gulworthy, about 6 miles away has been confirmed. With MAFF's current timing the infection will be allowed to spread for at least two days and more likely five or six, and then, of course, there is the disposal of the carcasses.... A farm even closer is under investigation at the moment. We'll hear on the grapevine or on teletext before MAFF tells us, I'm sure. I had a lovely supportive email from a farmer near Lockerbie today. They are having the same communication problems with MAFF not notifying them:

"..since Friday night there have been two confirmed cases near our second farm near Corrie, we, like the rest of the neighbours round, haven't been notified of this yet and only found out through the text on the television. We weren't even told that they were suspect..."

The story about the army food waste, by the way, came from "Farming News" March 8, 2001 on the front page. Paul sent me a quote from it: "Waste disposer SITA confirmed that it collected the commercial waste from the nearby Albermarle barracks, which may be significant as MOD policy is to source beef from Uruguay and Brazil, where FMD may be endemic." with the comment "I have not seen this story anywhere else but I suppose that politicians are not averse to manipulating the news!"

If rats eat food waste and can catch FMD (as they can, see MAFF fact sheet no. 1), then this might be an explanation as to how this whole thing started.

I've been reading the messages on the NPA forum . It is well worth reading. I wish Mr Brown would read it. The people putting messages on it are saying what I'm saying but there are more of them! Make a bit of time to have a look.

I've been a bit up and down today. I had started thinking yesterday that we might have escaped it. It was two weeks since the infection locally and it had seemed to be contained. But again a large dealer has carried the disease in his animals. I hear today that someone who works for him keeps pigs half a mile away. If farming ever recovers from this, one thing must be stopped, and that is this dealing in animals from market to market. It would be simple to say that when an animal is bought it can only make one movement until a month's quarentine is up.There could be exceptions under licence for special cases if necessary. Actually there are other things needing stopping just as badly. One is importing meat from countries with FMD. Didn't we learn our lesson after 1967? Meat which is reared to standards beneath our own should not be imported either. If it is it should be labled as an inferior product. Imported meat packaged in this country should not be labelled British. Most processed meat products and catering meat is imported and it should be clearly labelled as such. Does any of that seem unreasonable?

One piece of good news. Bill, who has helped out here before, arrived today to help with lambing. He hasn't been on a farm for weeks, since he left his last place. The dogs were pleased to see him too. It is someone else to take them out for a run.

I suppose I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I've never before felt in this keyed up state for so long. And it's late at night again! This morning, I remember, I was thinking about all the suffering, and how involved I'm feeling with it and how I'm trying to do something even if I can't. I thought that in the past there have been too many times when I've thought 'poor x' or 'what a shame' or 'something ought to be done about it' and I haven't done anything. So I'm saying publicly, and you can hold me to it!, that I'll act on my good intentions, that I'll never write a letter in my head and not put it on paper and post it again.

Driving bullocks up the road. I'm putting this in as I don't know when we'll be able to do this again.

I'm finishing today on an apology again. Sorry I'm just too tired to write coherently. I've been trying to write letters to newspapers and they're just not working. it's 12.30 and I'll do better tomorrow I hope.

 

19th March

"All my life I have looked forward to and expected to see the lambs playing in the fields and nestling close to their mothers to keep themselves warm. Seeing all the empty fields makes us all realise just how terrifying this illness is. Please know that the whole of the UK are rooting for you and every farmer".

This from a stranger from Kent. Thank you, Karen.

It's the middle of the afternoon now. I'm trying to put myself back into how I was feeling this morning.

It was a very cold night and there was a heavy frost. We have turned the central heating off to conserve our oil as we haven't got the means to disinfect an oil tanker. Anyone who's been here will know that our drive ( a grand name for it, it's a rather rutted track) runs steeply down from the road. Disinfectant would just run straight down and into the stream. We have enough oil to keep the Aga going for a while, and plenty of wood for the woodburner.

Walking with the dogs, the fields were all white with frost. There was a bitter cruel wind blowing from the South East, where there has just been an outbreak at Gulworthy. Is the infection blowing to us on the wind? It's closing in on us. There is a farm being investigated at the moment, just over a mile away. The dogs still make me smile, Jess and Megan having a tussle, whilst Patch runs round and round them.

Going into the shed with the ewes and cows it is impossible not to feel happy. They are all so quiet and calm, except for the brief mad rush as the ewes come out of their pens for 'cake'. They are getting very large now, and when they lie down they sort of spread, a bit like large meringues, I'll try to get a picture. I've been reading through our visitor's book, and someone (who stayed during a week of horrendous weather!) wrote: " .... nothing could stop the power of restoration that permeates the Barn and the whole farm..". It's something that is almost tangible right now. Part of it comes from being so close to such simple trusting creatures, but God is very much with us here. Whatever happens.

I've just come back from my late afternoon "sheep and cow therapy". They are all fed and looking well. We'll check them again later. At this time of year we'd be checking them anyway, as the ewes are close to lambing and the first lamb always comes early. Bill has been clearing all the old bikes, lawnmowers, flowerpots, etc. out of the second pigstye and pressurewashing it. Gussie and Gertie seemed to enjoy watching him. Pigs are very sociable. They always grunt happily when they see us. It's not just for food! (Or am I fooling myself?). The first piglets are due on the 1st April. The sows (gilts is actually what they are, ie. young sows) must be in separate styes in case they lie on each other's young. The styes face each other so they still have company. It's a great relief to have Bill back as he knows about pigs and we've never kept them before.

Vets and slaughtermen are feeling the strain. A vet on TV was saying that in 25 years of being a vet this had been the worst 3 weeks of his life. He looked drained. I heard how one young slaughterman, gently holding a lamb so the vet could give it a lethal injection (lambs are injected rather than shot), said "bye bye mate" to the lamb. It was too much for the vet and she burst into tears. I cried when I heard it.

The slurry saga was unfortunately not over. We were assured by MAFF that the licence to spread had been revoked, but it began again. Our friend blocked the road with his landrover and the police were called. The licence had not been revoked and the police told the farmer's wife that they would have to arrest her for blocking their quiet country lane. It would have made a good story if they had, the farmer's wife trying to defend her animals against FMD! Phone calls were made and the licence was finally revoked. All round the country farmers are doing their best, and supporting each other. Everyone else here has been brilliant. We can't visit each other but we telephone a lot and we are all taking as much care as we can. The farmer's wife was feeling a bit down, but she was off shortly to milk the cows. She agreed that cows can be a great comfort and a wonderful calming influence. They all have names, Foxglove (who's really special), Nancy, etc.

If you didn't see the 7.00 pm Channel 4 News, look at it on the internet (just checked and the printed version doesn't say much - there is a video though). It was brilliant. It was heart rending to see a strong farmer in tears for his cows, it was difficult not to cry. A Professor Anderson, one of Nick Brown's advisers, ("I am only acting on expert advice.." remember?) said that there was too long a gap between diagnosis and slaughter and that was when the animals were most infectious. An army expert said that the army could mobilise in 12 hours and had all the necessary equipment. There was more too. It was such a boost hearing people voicing what we have been saying all along. But it seems even stranger that nothing has been done. Is Mr Brown living on another planet?

Apparently all the hunts have offered their licenced slaughtermen to help. They know the local farmers and could speed things up. But the Government think it wouldn't look good if they made use of them. They only seem to be thinking of their wretched election. Channel 4 web site is conducting a poll on whether the elections should be held. Vote now!

The Chief Vet, Jim Scudamore, said he was going to Cumbria to "meet with the farmers". I had wondered how he could meet with farmers who were stuck on their farms; but I was horrified to see him walking past the farmers outside his meeting room. It is bizarre. It adds to the feeling of frustration that we're all feeling, knowing that the ordinary farmer on the ground is not being listened to. Why not join 'Farmers For Action'? You don't need to be a farmer to join. The more members they have, the more difficult it will be for the government to say that the NFU is the only body to represent farmers. FFA are viewed with extreme suspicion by the Government, which says a lot in their favour! (Saying which, Ben Gill, the Minister's yes man, is fortunately not typical of all the local representatives. Is Ben Gill thinking about his retirement knighthood? That's probably unfair. But he seems as out of his depth as Nick Brown).

James has just come down from checking the animals. All quiet. I've got emails to write and then I'll try and get to bed in good time. Tomorrow I'm going to do some necessary shopping in preparation for lambing. It's rather a lot to get someone else to do. I'll scrub myself as I leave and as I return and I'll spend a bit of time with my mother-in-law up the road. It will be very strange as I haven't left the farm for over 2 weeks.

Rainbows are special. They always make me feel hopeful. The little stone building is the privy. (We do have indoor plumbing too!)

 

20th March

8.00 am

Heard the headlines about 5.30 am. The army has been called in. YES!!!!! (I never thought I'd be in a situation where I would be pleased to hear that.) Then I heard the details at 6.00. The army is 100 men from the Military Police, to advise. If they thought their advice would make such a difference why didn't they bring them in sooner? If they advise that troops need to be brought in will their advice be followed?

I am sure every farmer must be deeply reassured to hear this morning that Mr Brown is "standing shoulder to shoulder with farmers"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

later: I've just come back from the animals. This morning, looking at them, I was very close to tears. I rubbed all the cows and calves noses as they were eating their silage. Small, who is our largest cow, is also our stroppiest. She bullies the other cows and normally shakes her head irritably when you touch it. This morning she was quite happy to be stroked. I suppose to most people a brown cow is just like another brown cow. It's difficult to remember the time, only a few years ago, when I wouldn't have been able to distinguish one from the other. They don't have different markings like Friesian cows, but every face is different. They're different characters too. Polly is my favourite. She is wonderfully gentle.

I have just been on the phone to the vet to order any medicines we might need during lambing. Our vet is out helping the Ministry. I started explaining to the new secretary that I was ordering as if we were going to be lambing. We have to carry on as if the animals will still be here next week. Poor girl! I found I was suddenly crying and it was very difficult to speak.

I'm typing this with the phone tucked under my ear, while it rings and rings at the MAFF helpline in Exeter. I got the number from the Cornwall branch of MAFF in Truro. Truro cannot tell me what has happened about the infected sheep at Gulworthy, only two miles from the Cornwall border. Are they still out in the field, the virus released to the gale force wind that is blowing here from that direction? The chances are fairly high I should think. The phone is still .....no it isn't I've got the sorry no reply message.

Finally got through to someone and he'll phone back in ten minutes...... an hour later. I've got to go.

Evening:

Cathy has just sent me this, (with a lovely long email): "May God bless you, may He protect you and may He surround you with His shield of favour, that you may be glad." based on Psalm 5:11 &12. Thanks Cathy. I am absolutely sure that whatever happens we will get through it. What worries me are those people already pushed to the brink by five years in which farm incomes have dropped by 75%.

I heard, just as I was going out, that the sheep at Gulworthy which were confirmed on Friday apparently, were killed today. But no one could tell me if they were out in the open before then. The wind is icy cold and very strong. I didn't sleep for long last night, a combination of disturbed thoughts and the noise of the wind. Unfortunately the virus likes the cold.

Our gateway blocked by my car, with a box for the post.

Before I went out I showered and washed my hair and changed my clothes. I wore a coat that I wouldn't wear on the farm. My car is parked outside the gate, so I went up in my boots, disinfected them, and changed into shoes by the car. Maria, our lovely vegetable van lady, had left me a good supply of vegetables by the car. It felt very strange and somehow dangerous to be out on the road. I expected to be out for two hours at the most, but it took me an hour and a half to get into Launceston (under five miles away!).

First I stopped for a chat with my mother-in-law. She was being taken out to lunch by some cousins. Then I stopped at the village shop and chatted for half an hour. Then I di